A series I wrote a loooooooong time ago. I love women, but archetypes give me a sense of control in a world full of chaos that I literally never feel a part of. Leaving comments on because I'm a DL masochist.
Alex Schwartz is outspoken, whip-smart, had a great full-time internship in college and now owns her own company. Her strong work ethic, A-type personality, and hefty trust fund catapulted her into being voted one of NY Magazine's “30 Young Supple Women That Will Make You Shit Your Pants In 2017.” Her most-liked Instagram was a selfie featuring her “I Voted” sticker on her understated Burberry trench outside of her local Park Slope Community Center. #ImWithHer
Clarissa tried to live in Manhattan after she graduated NYU but her needy mother expertly beckoned her back to Clarissa’s hometown — Brentwood, Los Angeles — with the promise of a “modest” sun-filled home of her own. After saving so much time not having to furnish her new ranch house (her mother did that a month before she moved in) Clarissa was able dive into her passion of painting and adopting elderly one-legged dogs. Occasionally, she models for Rag & Bone to supplement her monthly allowance.
Between manning the front desk at her uncle’s best friends gallery in Chelsea and running her own micro-gallery in Chinatown, everything in Trudy’s closet has to be either black or white or Alexander Wang. Her most recent curatorial collaboration included artists from three different continents, five of her best friends, and a black person.
Teeny (real name Claire Turner) came on to the scene with a blunt in one hand and a limited edition titanium iPhone in the other. Her withering stare and DSLs make most men give her all the drugs she wants, but this bitch doesn’t take handouts: she makes her own money featuring hair vitamins and 5-Hour Energy Drinks to her 1 million Snapchat followers.